Stop Asking. Start Attracting Money.

January 10, 2026•3 min read

Jay Conner, a seasoned real estate investor and private money expert, shares a powerful mindset shift that has allowed him to fund every real estate deal since 2009—without ever asking for money. After losing his bank line of credit during the financial crisis, Jay discovered private money lending and completely redefined how real estate investors can access capital. Instead of chasing lenders or submitting to traditional underwriting, he built a system rooted in education, trust, and positioning himself as a teacher. This approach eliminated fear of rejection and replaced it with attraction-based funding.

At the core of Jay’s strategy is separating the conversation. Rather than presenting a deal and asking for money at the same time, he first educates individuals—ordinary people, not institutions—about private lending, self-directed IRAs, and how they can safely earn consistent returns. Only after someone understands and commits to the program does he bring them a deal. By the time funding is needed, the lender is already prepared, excited, and waiting for what Jay calls the “good news phone call.”

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Jay emphasizes that most people have never heard of private money lending or self-directed IRAs, which puts the investor in a position of leadership rather than negotiation. This flips the traditional lending dynamic on its head. The investor sets the interest rate, loan-to-value ratio, and terms—because they are offering an opportunity, not asking for permission. According to Jay, there is far more money available than there are good deals, and desperation repels capital while confidence and clarity attract it.

Beyond funding, Jay also shares hard-earned lessons from decades of real estate investing. One of his most important rules: never buy a property you can’t cashflow as a backup plan, even if your intent is to flip. A costly condo mistake taught him the importance of always having a viable Plan B. Today, operating in a small North Carolina market, Jay completes two to three deals per month with average profits of $86,000 per flip—proving that dominating a small market can be more profitable than competing in major cities.

Ultimately, Jay’s message is about service, mentorship, and impact. He views himself not just as an investor, but as an educator who helps others transform their financial futures. From handwritten thank-you notes from retired lenders to referrals built on trust, his approach creates true win-win outcomes. His advice to aspiring investors is clear: don’t do this alone. Find a mentor, learn from those who’ve made the mistakes, and shorten your path to success by aligning with people who already know the way.

Takeaways

• Jay Conner has never asked for money and still gets deals funded.

• The fear of rejection can be eliminated by not asking for money.

• Private money is more accessible than traditional financing.

• Educating potential lenders is key to attracting private money.

• The 'Good News Phone Call' is a strategic approach to funding.

• Investors should always have a cash flow plan B.

• There's a significant impact on investors' lives through private lending.

• Mistakes in real estate can be costly; learn from them.

• Mentorship is crucial for new investors to avoid pitfalls.

• Private money lending can change the dynamics of real estate investing.

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